Japan is a different place.
Truthfully, this is my first time overseas. Living in America, I had never even been to the east coast. The majority of my adolescence was spent Portland. The only other 'big city' I had visited in my lifetime was Seattle, and that was usually only for a day or so at a time. So, unlike most people I've met here, my first leap overseas and my first visit to a real megalopolis was Tokyo.
So how does one explain like me explain their view of Tokyo when they first dive into it? Was I overwhelmed? Homesick? Culture Shock? For me, Tokyo had been a dream long manifested in my mind ever since I first watched Godzilla. At age 4, I was enraptured by this monster and thus grew an obsession of immense proportions. From this obsession also grew a more substantial interest in Japan and Japanese culture over time. I can confidently say that I've been wanting to go to Japan longer than I've wanted or done anything. Longer than music in fact.
Regardless of this desire, the final days before leaving to Tokyo were filled with excitement and melancholy. For one, I knew I was about to realize a childhood dream that had so long been apart of me. But along with this was the thought "Will this be it?" Once I go to Tokyo will I have finally completed a part of me that had been missing for so long? Once that part is done, what else is there to look forward to afterwards?
Saying goodbye to my mentors, my friends, and my family members was also very difficult. On my last day of violin lessons in the states, I remember shaking my teacher's hand and saying "Thank you." This simple gesture was one of the most difficult and meaningful moments in my entire life. I don't think I'll ever forget the feelings I had that day. I feel that, even though starting the violin only two years ago, my passion for music has grown tenfold. All due to picking up such a difficult instrument with all the things working against me (time and age, to be specific). My last day at the boxing gym filled me with similar feelings as well. These places and things, where you've experience such frustration, where you've worked so hard toward a certain goal, where you feel like, at this special place with these people, you've grown immensely as a person. These things were the most difficult to say goodbye to.
But now I'm in Tokyo.
The first days here were filled with all sorts of orientation type activities(since I entered through a study abroad program). For a while it all felt like some sort of dream. I was riding on this wave with all these other new people who seemed have just as little an idea what to do or what was going on as I did. So, we got to know each other. Lots of drinking, hanging out, making friends. It seemed like our group of exchange students quickly turned into a little family. I think, when you go so far away from home, especially a foreign country all on your own, it's natural to want to build a sort of support group; people that are in the same situation as you are. It's interesting how quickly the friendships and trust are built in that situation. But when you're in a very different place, it's possible that you're more open to embracing a powerful friendship than you are back at home.
Once I got settled into my dorm, everything kind of fell on me at once. I felt completely lost and alone. I was in this weird place. I could not speak smoothly or understand everything quite well. I don't know where anything is. Just going to the convenience store (conbini;コンビニ) was a difficult experience. I had to ride these crowded trains. I felt like a nuisance. The odd one out. This is the first time in my life I was conscious of the fact that I am White. All of this was overwhelming at first. I had some serious second thoughts the first couple nights in my dorm. I knew beforehand that things would not be as simple here as they were in the states. But as I grasped the situation, I began to acquire my bearings.
Day by day, things became simpler. I was figuring out my rhythm, and feeling more confident in myself. I began to have fun in Tokyo.
Before I came here, I met a guy named Sho. He drove up to my house from LA to jam, then we saw Boris. The day after next, I drove down to Berkely and saw Portraits of Past with him. He wanted to start a band when he moved back to Japan and had a friend here (Take) who he was going to play with. I was very excited about the fact that I would have people to play music with when I came to Japan. It was like my body and spirit were recharged with it's former zest when I had my first jam over here. From then on, things felt right. I went out with my new friends from the program many nights. Lots of Karaoke, drinking, and having fun.
The Tokyo that had once felt strange and awkward, had turned into a very exciting and interesting place. The memories I've made in the past month have been some of the fondest and happiest moments of my life.
Summer vacation is over, school has started, and real life has begun. I joined a club at the university called The Walking Club (歩こう会). The club activities generally consist of going on a long walk somewhere in Tokyo and then ending the day with a 飲み会(nomi-kai;drinking party). I figure this was a good chance to meet Japanese people and explore Tokyo. My first walk consisted of an exploration around Ebisu, Roppongi, and Akasaka and turned out to be one hell of a blast. I had a lot of chances to speak Japanese, and feel like I've made lots of new friends. It is worth mentioning that when Japanese students drink they probably have more fun than anyone else in the world.
Before I came to Japan, on multiple occasions I had met people who had previously spent a substantial amount of time here. Coincidentally, each time I had mentioned that I was about to spend a long time over here, each one of them said "You're going to have a great time and meet a lot of great people." My last few months in the states were not a happy time for me. The simple idea of having a great time and meeting great people seemed so... so beyond anything at that moment. But their worlds held true. I really have had a great time and have met a lot of great people. And I'm very grateful for these moments and meetings.
So my first month is almost over, about ten more to go. It's been somewhat of a roller coaster ride; many highs and lows. But at least once a day I think to myself...
